Happiness Is
mostly about perspective
I spent last week in Los Angeles, glomming onto my husband’s business trip so that I could see some friends, do some solo sightseeing, take advantage of a free luxury hotel room and, OF COURSE, hang with my husband during his off hours.
I had a slew of activities planned for us on the weekend ahead of his workweek, and then for myself on my solo days. California is one of my very favorite places to visit, no matter the metropolitan area. Give me LA! Give me San Fran! Give me San Diego! Whatever. I’m not picky: I love it all.
What I noticed during my busy week is how gloriously happy I was, all the time. I remembered reading about how part of the reason Californians are so happy is because the weather is perfect more often than not, and I agree but also think there are other elements to consider. Anyway, I was happy and smiling. Inject California into my veins!
Walking on the beach? Happy.
Walking near the beach? Happy.
Driving around to see the sights? Happy.
Strolling through an orange grove? Happy.
Shopping for souvenirs? Happy.
Eating great food? Happy.
Taking pictures? Happy.
Talking to strangers? Happy.
Visiting with friends? Happy.
One day near the end of my trip when I was sitting in traffic—one of the only things about California that doesn’t make me happy—it occurred to me that I’m pretty happy in other places too, especially when I’m on vacation. Duh.
Naturally, when work isn’t getting in the way of having fun it’s very easy to be gloriously happy. So there it was, the actual truth about my Happy Place: it’s always changing.
Yes, I love the state of California but I also love the state of New Jersey. I love cities like Chicago (my hometown!), Kenosha, Nashville, Columbus, New York City, and Boston. I’m very happy in all of those places.
Unfortunately, work is still a necessity (and I do love my job!) and even though I travel much more than the average person, I’m unable to travel as much as I’d like to. That’s probably true for many people.
I have started thinking about how I can do vacation-like things at home, because even though I absolutely love home, I’m not often in that “gloriously happy” state that vacation brings on.
As with most things, perspective has a lot to do with it.
Doing things in my home area, even errands, with a fresh eye and a forced (at first: fake it til you make it!) sense of lightness feels nice. Abandoning—or finishing—the errands and taking a scenic drive instead of going straight home is fun. Texting a friend to see if they want to meet up at a new restaurant is a little tourist-y in a good way. Taking the afternoon off and ditching a to-do list in favor of going to get a little ice cream sundae that will definitely not ruin my dinner feels deliciously wrong. Or maybe I could just have the sundae for dinner. I’m an adult and can do what I want!
I think we get so ingrained in our home habits that the daily grind becomes something that drags us and our mood down a little bit, even if we feel generally content. Mostly, it’s not happiness in the euphoric sense. I used to be a person who deeply resisted change, but once I started loosening up about the structure I clung to for dear life, I really did become a happier, more relaxed person. I’m still working on it, but working on it is actually fun for me!
If I had to make a list of activities in my home base city that make me happy, I wouldn’t have to think too hard about it.
Driving the back roads in my convertible? Happy.
Enjoying lunch or dinner at our favorite restaurants? Happy.
Looking for murals and other public art? Happy.
Declaring Pajama Day? Happy.
Floating the day away in our neighborhood pool? Happy.
Browsing a cute local shop or two? Happy.
Taking in a comedy show or a musical at our theater? Happy.
Going on a photo walk? Happy.
Taking a drive all the way up to the Smoky Mountains just to get rolled ice cream or visit the outlet mall? Happy.
Taking a drive all the way up to the Smoky Mountains just to take a drive all the way up to the Smoky Mountains? Happy.
What I have to remind myself is that even though I can’t be on vacation all the time, I can fit a lot of fun (and happiness) into my day-to-day life, just by making the effort.
And so can you.
Yes! I've been trying to "find wonder" in the everyday this year, because so much changes for our family in the fall. We've had a few major upheavals already, but it's time to get back to this. (Also, I think we're doing a pre-college-launch vacation to California later this summer!)
So I've been in my new apartment in the city for just 8 days now, but I had no idea how much happier living near the water (but in an urban environment) would make me. Every day I've been walking my dog along the pier, and something I was dreading (a fenced in backyard was very easy!) has become a total joy. I love seeing all of the other people and dogs too, and my step count is way up with little effort. And of course I've been taking photos of the water too. This has been a huge step for me, and one I've waited a long time to achieve, but it's even better than I hoped for. :) I always appreciate the positive spin you try to find in every little thing.