What Do You Ache For?
One of many thought-provoking questions posed by Kate Bowler
Last week I finished another book (Huzzah!) that I really loved, called Joyful, Anyway by religious history professor, podcast, and author Kate Bowler. Bowler writes so beautifully about how joy can not only can thrive simultaneously with suffering, but it has to. Life is hard for all of us in countless ways and finding the joys, big and small, is something we should all be doing regardless of what we’re experiencing. That’s not to say we should ignore or push aside negative feelings, just that we should always stay hopeful. In the book blurb Jerry Seinfeld gave her, he said “Bowler lingers comfortably in the strange terrain where joy and pain don’t alternate, but constantly intertwine.”
In the book she writes about the differences between happiness and joy, makes suggestions on how to create practices that bring joy, and poses lots of questions for the reader, Her words left me with a lot to think about, which I love.
In one chapter, she asked “strangers on the internet what they ached for.” Answers included “One more moment with my friend” (so relatable!), “Being pain-free for a day,” and “A cure for regret.”
I decided to make my own list of things, from silly to serious, in no particular order and definitely not complete:
McDonald’s French fries that I could eat daily without detriment to my health
More hours in the day
More sleep at night
For both of my grown kids and their spouses to live locally, or at least within an hour or two
Competent and caring government officials at every level
Freedom and equity for all
More money to use on European travel
Regular European travel
The ability to truly relax more quickly, when I have the opportunity
More time with lost loved ones
More time with friends
Adele, touring again
What would be on your list?
I ache for so much, but I can tell you that I'd give everything I have for more time to hear my mother's laugh, and more time to feel the wet, open mouthed kisses of toddler's upon my cheeks. To think that I once would wipe away the sloppiness.
My list is long, but a couple: an expanded travel budget; the ability to commit to a single water bottle, so I can clear out my cabinets; a compassionate government; heels that look SO GOOD but feel like slippers.